Today marks the day that I choose another path. Things have to change. As much as I preach to love your body and love yourself, I’m becoming unhappy with MY body. Mainly the choices I make on what to consume, which in turn affects my goods. After my breast reduction in December 2011, I was supposed to start exercising. My whole gripe with my previous 40E jugs (I know) was that I was uncomfortable when I worked out. It just became unbearable to the point where I absolutely HATED working out. Now, I have NO EXCUSE. The huge tits are gone!
The truth is, I actually enjoy eating healthy. I love clean eating. I loved eating vegan. Although being 100% vegan just isn’t for me right this second (c’mon, I’m southern!), I do incorporate vegan meals into my lifestyle. I juice when I can. I eliminate carbs when I can…as a bread lover since birth, this tears at the seams of my soul. At the moment I eat as many veggies as I can, and meat here and there. I’m generally picky about where said meat comes from though.
Now when I look at myself, I realize what got me to this unfortunate destination of, shall I say, muffin top central… ALCOHOL. And EMOTIONAL EATING. And ZERO MOTIVATION.
I just shook my head. I said it.
I eat to celebrate. I eat when I’m in some emotional valley. I eat when it’s pay day. I eat after some long night of alcohol + dancing my ass off. Which brings me to alcohol. Sweet, sweet booze. I come from a family of boozers so it’s in my blood to have an affinity for the hooch. I was always a gal who did what the boys did during my development years so it’s only right that at 20 I found beer to be one of God’s greatest creations. A good, ice cold beer? Some hot wings? Both, with the homies? F*ck YEA! I also come from a family where being “thick” is accepted but being “too thick” is shunned loud and clear. You lose weight and you get “gul you done got too skinny” (told you, we’re southern). You eat one too many tacos at 3am and you get “Brie, you could lose a little.” And I’m 5’2 so I’m like the Snuggle teddy bear.
I say all of this to say that I’m ready. At 195 motherf*cking pounds, mama is ready. I don’t wanna cross that threshold unless I’m carrying triplets. As much as I love the beach, and as much as I love being naked, I’m a little over this stomach. A LOT over it. Since I already have no shame when it comes to my body, I figure it’d look even better with a strong dose of 100% clean eating, a significant decline in drinking, and working out.
While I’m not trying to look like a size 0, as a current size 14 my goal is to slip into a size 10 come November…which is appropriately when I’m moving to LA after years of sh*tting around. Once I reach that point, I’ll decide what the next goal is. One step at a time.
*sigh* Let’s get sexy (er).