(I decided to write a short story. It’s been awhile.) Today I joined a cult and I’m hoping for the best. The air smells clean around here, wherever “here” is. They met me downtown and blindfolded me so I didn’t know where they were taking me. Perhaps that’s for the best as well. People seem nice enough but things are always great in the beginning, right? Everyone is friends until somebody gets drunk. There’s always the angry drunk. There’s always the person who gets drunk and wants to have sex all the time. I guess people have sex in cults, right? Thankfully I picked a cool cult who likes to have sex and have bonfires. Nevermind the chants and blood rituals, there’s some cool shit going on. Waking up to the smell of pine needles and fresh cut grass. Bobby likes to cut the grass first thing in the morning because he says “that’s when the souls are still asleep and we wanna keep them peachy.” Have you seen an ant head up close? Today I did shrooms with Sandy and I saw ant heads up close. They smiled at me and told me that everything was okay. They agreed, I picked a cool cult. The ants have pot bellies from the crumbs we drop while eating in the yard. I met the queen and everything. Good times. My old life feels like it’s a million miles away. I worked at a nail salon part time, filing the fungus and filth from people’s fingernails. Painting their nails trampy hues of red and pink. The ghetto girls got blue and purple and all sorts of stripes and designs on their nails. They went all out. The uppity cotton-pantied women stuck with nude pinks and French manicures. The teen girls got whatever colors would piss their mothers off. You learn a lot about women by working in a nail salon. None of that mattered anymore. I don’t miss any of it. What matters is that I have a family now. Finally a group of misguided people, just like me, willing to give our lives for the cause. I don’t even know what the cause is, I just got tired of being lonely. I’d rather die with a group of people than sit in my dumpy apartment alone another night.